April has arrived! In comes Spring and another Monthly Update!

I’ve been working on blog projects and still trying to figure out how all of “this” works.

Who reads what I write?

“Reach your audience.”, they say, but who in the world is my audience? I can “see” who my followers are, but it doesn’t lend me any help with which direction to go.

My blogs are mainly personal stories and informed opinions. I don’t have a College education. I’m not an expert in any field. By all measures, I shouldn’t even be bothered to write anything at all. Yet, here I am, two years later, still blogging, still writing.

The only thing keeping me going is knowing I can’t think of anything else to do.

In some posts, I’ve talked about being bullied, harassed, and even abused by people who were close to me, this includes employers, management teams, and co-workers. If it wasn’t for all of the time I’ve wasted (spent) working a “real job”, maybe I wouldn’t have even bothered to create any blog project or write at all. I can’t really say.

I do this, for myself. It’s nice to have people who read and enjoy what I write, but it’s not a driving factor for me. I don’t care about being famous. I never have.

“What are you trying to accomplish?”, is a question I’ve been asked before.

The idea for me is to make a living creating something on my own. I’m tired of spinning my tires and getting nowhere, for someone else’s gain.

When a new business opens up in town, most people think, “Oh! I can’t wait to shop/eat/stay there.”, I think, “Hey! This could be my chance at figuring out what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.”, only to learn, I’m wasting my time, yet again.

Call it bitterness, stubbornness, or whatever you want, but those who knew me before I started all these different projects know, I wasn’t always like this. I was kind, selfless, and willing to work on anything if I knew it could make money.

Those days, are officially over.

I’m not spending another day, hour, minute, or second, doing something I don’t feel is going to support me in some way, fashion, or form.

After 36 years of living, I’ve come to realize, I’m “that guy” when it comes to doing things alone. I’ve never been popular. I’ve never had a massive amount of friends. I rarely have a fully supportive team of people around me, pushing me to do something, or do better.

I’ve come to realize, with understanding, recognizing, and now, fully acknowledging this, it makes me even more of a “lone wolf”. I honestly can’t say I care, at this moment.

After my best attempts at social media, partnerships in the workplace, trying to build upon what already exists, I have to recognize, I’ve failed. Failed at every single attempt to fit in, belong, or contribute to the cause.

Knowing all this, along with the fact I’m still alive and kicking, is all I care about.

Where am I going with all this? I don’t know. What I do know is, I’m enjoying what I’m doing now, more than I’ve ever done before. The downside is, I have to rely on my family to support me for the time being, until the work starts to pay off, which, I’m doubtful of, but this doubt is no different than any other doubt I’ve had while working on any other project in my life.

I could list all of the things I’ve accomplished throughout my life. The accolades, awards, trophies, and yes, even notoriety, I’ve earned and gained over the years, but I’d rather not waste time making a list which, in the end, would only serve as a reminder to myself, to keep going and not give up.

ICYMI, last month was my Two Year Anniversary for blogging. It’s crazy to think about what I’ve worked on and accomplished over the past two years. Being released from the local BMU, starting all these incredibly different projects, and not giving up.

Of course, there have been long-absences, hiccups, and misfires, but I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, and I’m looking forward to what another year of progress will create.

I’ve cut back spending time on Facebook, for many different reasons, but I’m still connected.

Anything directly related to, “Games with Strangers“, or any of my writing projects, will still be posted to the parts of Facebook I can maintain control of, or the parts I can control to the best of my abilities.

A new part to “Cerene’s Story” was added last month. It’s been a long time coming. When my brain isn’t focused on whatever ails my synapses, I get to focus on working on my fictional projects. I wish I could focus more on writing fiction, but it’s far more difficult for me to work on fiction, rather than what I’ve already read, seen, and know.

The goal for Cerene’s Story is to keep it in, serial mode. In my mind, there’s an entire book series worth of material I try to jot down in my notes and outlines as I walk down this path, and it’s incredibly daunting.

If I had a book advance, I’d do my best to sit down and write out the full First Book of Cerene’s Story, but as I’m writing this, I’m unaware of any advance heading my way.

I also made an announcement regarding, “@nti-social” and online gaming.

When I’m not working on projects, writing, researching, browsing the internet, watching something on Netflix or TV, or falling asleep while doing one of the aforementioned activities, I’m probably playing a game.

I’ve grown up and spent the majority of my life with and around games. They’re my best inanimate friends. They always have been, and probably will remain so until the day I die.

If creating, “Games with Strangers” wasn’t enough of an indication how much I appreciate and enjoy playing games, adding games as a subject to write about, should do so.

Always trying to keep myself busy, I decided to add some more clarity to my beliefs about Facebook with, “Screaming At The Political Divide“, on The Leftovers.

Facebook is not the place for me and the reasons numerous and multi-layered within. It’s a lot to take in, more for me to possibly write about in the future, but after spending two years on Facebook, and at this moment, I don’t regret my decision.

Thanks for everyone’s support, I appreciate it.