I could consider this a crossover style post. I seem to keep running into this recurring theme about being authentic, “real”, searching for comfort while being myself and living in a region that doesn’t take too kindly to people of my ilk, “keeping it real”, or “keeping it one-hundred” as the kids say nowadays. If you’re not familiar with another blog project of mine, “@ntisocial“, feel free to check it out. It may be a helpful guide in this instance.
The biggest problem that I have run into this past week with my writing and presence on social media and the internet is finding that sweet spot where I can truly say what is on my mind without upsetting the masses. I know ultimately, this is a losing endeavor, however, what I don’t purposely intend to do is say something to upset people.
I’m sure that I have my fair share of controversial ideas and statements to be made, but I don’t hold certain beliefs or say things just for the sake of being controversial or offensive. I’m familiar with the phrase, “Bad press is still press.”, which, I have to say is true. It isn’t my style, though. I would rather be honest, sometimes brutally so, even if it means having to admit that I’m wrong further down the road.
This topic almost always comes as a result of something that I’ve said online that receives a negative response. What fascinates me, is when I notice the response is not what I expect, I immediately go back to the original statement and read over what I have written at least 10 times. I imagine that I have truly said something false, damaging, offensive, and/or just plain rude. Oddly enough, I very rarely find any of these traits within the statements I make.
I have gotten to the point where I have begun to question other people’s abilities to have a flowing conversation without having to fact check every single detail about what was said. If I was having a conversation with such a person, one who demonstrates a sense of always trying to gain the higher ground, at some point, I would have to mention that we are not having a conversation and I hadn’t realized I had signed up for the debate team.
There aren’t really any rules for having a civil adult conversation, you can either be a healthy participant in one or you cannot, there isn’t a lot of middle ground when it comes to this subject.
I easily tire of environments that seem to exist only for the purpose of stifling progress. Especially when talking about matters of importance, the “Big Four” as I call them (Sex, Money, Religion, and Politics). So often conversations are dismissed simply because of the topic. Now, we’re in danger of abruptly ending conversations over having a simple difference of opinion as well?
This isn’t healthy, honestly. At the end of the day, being a little uncomfortable for a few minutes isn’t going to kill anyone, not before stagnation finishes the job.
If I say something that you don’t agree with, state your reasons as to why. If I’m wrong, tell me so in a constructive way. If I have offended you, don’t run off without giving time for an apology.